I’ll bet THAT got your attention, didn’t it? I’m not even making this up. The title of this post is an actual and real Resolution, which was written and sponsored by 10 lawmakers from the US House of Representatives. That’s ten people who my fellow Americans have actually voted into public office. These people surely have their own staffs and fancy offices, and probably ride around in limousines, dressing up in expensive suits and everything. I’m assuming they all went to college, but who can tell, really. This isn’t even a joke. Well, actually, it is a joke on all of us because it’s something that lawmakers actually are doing, as opposed to spending time on anything of actual merit or value. It’s almost as if we are so free of problems in this country that they had to just make up an “issue” to rally behind.

I originally went to the Congress.gov website to read the text of an energy bill that was sure to be another type of atrocity, but then I accidentally came across this House Resolution (No. 642), whose stated purpose is:

“Recognizes magic as a rare and valuable art form and national treasure.

Supports efforts to make certain that magic is preserved, understood, and promulgated.”

After I saw what the alleged point of this Resolution was, I sort of felt compelled to look up the word, “promulgate,” just to make sure I wasn’t wrong about how crazy this was:

This Resolution, which can be read in all its mystical glory here, was sponsored by Pete Sessions (R-TX), plus 9 co-sponsors that (somehow) felt that they needed to pile on top of this embarrassing pile of horse shit magic. If Representative Sessions, or any of these other 9 worthless idiots represents you, you should seriously consider a recall election, or at least some sort of verification that they haven’t completely lost their minds:

This kind of got me wondering about a few things, such as:

Is there such a thing as a magic “lobby” in Washington?

Have these politicians been put under some sort of spell?

Is this their answer to “the science” (of such stupefying things like climate change)?

Have they been duped into thinking that David Copperfield (who is actually mentioned in the text of this Resolution) can answer that burning question of “Where’s Waldo?”

I just don’t know. But I’m pretty sure my Ouija board has the answer.

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