A plan, initiative, deadline for a deadline, process, agreement, memorandum of understanding, meeting, conference, committee, negotiations, targets, roadmap, working group, policy, all of which, of course, are just “setting the stage” for something. But what? Here comes the big “reveal,” folks….you’d better be sitting down for this one:
Setting the stage for the next meeting, of course.

Enough. I’m sick of it.

This gravy train of environmental inaction, with so many onion layers of stupid, needs to stop. Decades of UN IPCC meetings about meetings to discuss the merit or value of every – single – word they put out, is an affront to basic intelligence. And I’m convinced that the climate denial movement just pretends to get all worked up about any gathering of climate scientists (at which, of course, there are always small armies of fossil fuel executives present) just so that we, the general prison population, think SOMETHING is being done. Which it isn’t.

And I know it’s easy to sit back and complain and criticize, shooting spitballs from the sidelines with no real answers or concrete plans. That’s not what I’m doing. I have a plan. It might work. But it’s so draconian, and so ugly that it’s actually (f)ugly. I’ll let you figure out why I added the “f.” And even at that level of “extreme-ness,” it probably isn’t enough, which makes things like the Obama Administration’s much ballyhooed Clean Power Plan beyond laughable. It’s circling the drain into being a late-night talk show skit. I never thought I’d agree with Climate Depot’s Marc Morano. I always agree with climatologist James Hansen. And on this one thing, we all agree. The Clean Power Plan isn’t worth the recycled soy paper it’s written on.

I have concrete steps. And zero patience for lofty and meaningless statements like this one, which was uttered by senior Obama climate advisor Brian Deese during the launch of yet another initiative. This one is called the Climate Services for Resilient Development partnership, or CSRD (They must have run out of spiffy sounding names) and I recently read about in my American Geophysical Union magazine:

“The United States is deeply committed to helping the poorest and most vulnerable nations become more resilient to the growing impacts of climate change.”

Really? Can you even say that with a straight face anymore, America? As we propel ourselves beyond just being the number one producer of gas and oil in the WORLD, and claw and scratch our way into new drilling sites in the (melting) Arctic, the Dead Zone, aka, the Gulf of Mexico, and the already polluted Pacific Ocean, we apparently still feel the need to pretend to give a damn. All we would actually need to do to really help any of these vulnerable nations is stop heating up the planet. We’re Number One allright. But it’s not a good thing.

And so, for the chump change total of $34 MILLION dollars, collectively coming from the US, the United Kingdom, two international development banks, and “several” non-governmental organizations and businesses, some of it “in-kind,” whatever that means, absolutely nothing, which is being called the CSRD partnership, is going to happen. NOTHING. Except more meetings. $34 million bucks ponied up between all those nations, banks, and groups is less than the loose change under Rex Tillerson’s couch cushions. It’s so pathetic that it’s embarrassing. If I were on the receiving end of such a lame effort and I was, for example, starving, made homeless by Western-created climate chaos, and burying my baby due to what the US, UK and the other bunch of crooks had done to me, I’d tell that initiative to shove it up its collective ass. One shiny penny at a time.

And who, exactly, merits this ambitious undertaking? I am not making this up:

“Subregions of Latin America, Africa, and Asia, with an initial focus on Colombia, Ethiopia and Bangladesh.”

In other words, the billions of people in this potential pool of recipients will never see, nor benefit from, any of it. Instead of actually fixing the problem, which would make another initiative completely unnecessary, there will just be more meetings and reports and committees and agendas.

SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP!

I would vote for Satan, or even Donald Trump, for President if they’d adopt my straightforward, three part energy plan, which I thought up all by myself without forming one single working group or committee. I didn’t require any grant or assistance, either. Imagine that! And the spineless Democrats (except for Bernie) don’t have to stand up to the fossil fuel industry at all because they can just hide behind the choices that the American people make. The GOP can hardly argue (although they’ll try) with the notion of ending government handouts and subsidies and “letting the market decide,” which is practically their middle name. In short, I think it would work, and it would be the necessary step so that we can begin to actually fix the problem.

Here it is :

Step One: Change America’s energy supply structure so that every American can choose where their power comes from. And we already have this capability.

So, for example, you would have a menu of options which would include (and vary by region) solar, hydropower, wind, geothermal and any other actually clean and renewable energy (not nuclear – which is not clean and not renewable) and then throw in (just for the hell of it), oil and gas at an unsubsidized (also known as market) price. And then, allow what every conservative SAYS they believe in to happen: let the market “decide.” And if you’re thinking, “Well, oil and gas will be the cheapest,” that’s only because they’re subsidized up the wazoo (not a technical term). In fact, every single one of us is subsidizing the fossil fuel industry, essentially making those crooks insanely rich so they can better pollute our natural world and destroy the environment. I don’t know what genius managed to con someone into thinking this made sense, but there should be a special place in hell for him.

So, oil and gas will still be an option but will NOT be cheap since….

Step Two: Fossil fuel subsidies are halted. Immediately. As in right away. We are NOT talking about a gradual phase out or any other continuance of corporate welfare. You know…welfare and subsidies. Two naughty words the Republicans claim to despise and yet they plentifully dole out to fossil fuel companies. In the words of literally every GOP candidates for president: Hand-outs are over, you bunch of slackers. The gravy train has run out of track.

Does that sound like a fossil fuel death sentence? It is. The fossil fuel industry would, almost overnight, go the way of the dinosaurs, which I consider poetic justice.  And it could be achieved with nothing more than an old Quickbooks accounting program. The underwriting, subsidizing and assistance for dirty energy would THEN get applied to building the new energy infrastructure. How’s that for flipping the pancake?

And it will be an incredible jobs program, too, as opposed to the “jobs” created by the Keystone XL Job Creation Pipeline Extravaganza which actually wouldn’t create enough jobs to put together a soccer team.

Step Three: And the final step would be no new permits for fossil fuel exploration or extraction. That would kill investor interest pretty much right away. And no new research money allocated to fossil fuel energy or on nuclear power  (and there are BILLIONS of dollars spent on this every year, by the way), except when it is spent towards figuring how to safely dismantle and store, on a long-term basis, the wells, waste and mess we’ve made. That effectively neuters the Department of the Interior, who are utterly useless anyway (when they’re not literally in bed with the fossil fuel industry), AND lops off a huge segment of the Department of Energy, who do nothing but help the fossil fuel industry.

What ARE we going to do with all the money we save, even after building an actually useful power grid?

We are going to once again use good old Quickbooks and Scoot that Loot over to the Department of Education, the EPA (so they can afford to actually grow a pair), Social Security, Medicare, and NASA (so they can help us cause trouble outside planet Earth).

I’ve now created a (real) jobs program, downsized the government (Bye-bye Sally Jewell. You were useless anyway) and began the end of the fossil fuel industry, thus eliminating the need for that stupid CSRD program in the first place.

Boiled down to 3 simple steps:

1) Allow Americans to choose their power source;
2) Stop fossil fuel subsidies;
3) No new permitting of fossil fuel/dirty energy projects.

No studies, reports, committees or cocktail parties are needed to implement or verify the feasibility of my energy plan because I guarantee, with 100% certainty, that every aspect of what I’ve proposed has been researched and studied, ad nauseum, by someone.

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