Hey, fossil fuel industry, just go kill yourself (and bring your own body bag)

When you read this excellent article which appeared in The Guardian and your blood pressure starts going up, I’m going to ask you to just try and feel at least a little sorry for these fossil fuel companies.

HA HA! I’m kidding. If I EVER imply that fossil fuel companies deserve sympathy of any kind, please assume that I’ve been kidnapped or my computer has been hacked. But seriously, the executives, like Rex Tillerson of ExxonMobil, all from ridiculously profitable corporations WANT you to pity them. I, for one, am sick and tired of having to listen to their endless whining and complaining that IF they didn’t receive BILLIONS of dollars in taxpayer provided subsidies, they’d be unable to cope with the cost of doing business in the real world. The only sensible response to this nonsense should be: FINE. Then go kill yourself. Go out of business. We DO NOT want you crooks around ANYWAY.


Or how about this whiny, pathetic, flag waving drivel from Halliburton’s gang of thieves, or this completely delusional press release from ConocoPhillips in 2011 (height of the recession) where they flat out state that cutting their subsidies would be UNAMERICAN because, well, hmm, I have no idea why it would be un-American. ConocoPhillips manages to prattle on about their $160 BILLION in assets, and their $226 BILLION in revenues, and how they want to keep making more and more money, and waaaa waaaa waaaa…someone needs a diaper change.


I could keep providing links to countless examples of these pampered, utterly out-of-touch oil executives explaining away the obscene amounts of money they received and waste in order to keep on killing our planet, but you get the point. Like we’re supposed to BEG them not to “leave,” or something. WTF? And now, thanks to their own greed, and my dear friend Ali in Saudi Arabia, they’re blubbering on about how they’ll have to cut some damn job or project or clean up, and someone won’t get to buy the jet they wanted to, or some other such nonsense.

Hey, assholes: WE DON”T CARE. Just dig a hole, jump in, and give an environmentalist the thrill of a lifetime by letting them dump some dirt on top of you. We don’t want any of it. So stop threatening that you aren’t going to be able to keep on doing what you’re doing (which is all bad, by the way) if you don’t keep getting handouts from your paid off politicians.

NOBODY cares, and NOBODY will miss you, got it?  See ya!

tilerson memer