Meet new Wall of Shame member, Senator Deb Fischer

Senator Deb Fischer (R-Nebraska) must need a cheat sheet to keep her priorities straight. Indeed, her unique recipe for “crazy pie” has earned her a coveted place on the Wall of Shame. 

For example, let’s look at Senator Fischer’s recent reply to one of her constituents. Below you’ll find the Senator’s response when she was asked why she so strongly opposed the Obama Administration’s intention to declare Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) “off limits” to oil exploration and drilling (by declaring the region a US Monument):

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And Fischer needs to do her homework. The designation as a protected wilderness region will NOT prohibit human activity in that area. Scaremongering should be a dead end proposition in the age of accurate information being available. Here is a description of what such protection of the ANWR region would really mean: http://www.doi.gov/news/pressreleases/obama-administration-moves-to-protect-arctic-national-wildlife-refuge.cfm.

And so, this alarm bell ringing about ANWR seems really inappropriate, especially in light of a recent Senate bill co-sponsored by Senator Fischer which goes into excruciating detail about the importance of setting aside and increasing federal lands for sportsmen, and expanding the types of guns and ammunition and polar bear body parts whose very acquisition must be duly protected. And when I say, “acquisition,” I am referring to the polar bear body parts, which, she contends, must be allowed to be dragged back to the aforementioned sportsmen’s home state from Canada (which seems awfully specific) to display in all their dead polar bear glory. Not surprisingly, the NRA not only supports this bizarre bit of legislation, but they probably wrote it. Here’s their article about it:

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No mention of polar bear body parts which seems like a good editorial decision.

Indeed, Senator Fischer apparently felt righteously compelled to co-sponsor (with that denizen of good judgment, Senator Murkowski of Alaska), this steaming pile of rotten corrupted drivel called the The Bipartisan Sportsmen’s Act of 2015 (Senate Bill 405) outlining, among other things, the construction, with up to 90% of the cost to taxpayers, of shooting ranges. These inalienable rights to hunt, fish, and carry as many rifles with as much and as many unregulated types of ammunition as physically possible, and without any pesky regulations (and on Federal lands, AND on land overseen by the Army Corp of Engineers, because, you know, they are a dangerous bunch of people to be around unless you’re sufficiently locked and loaded) has also got some extremely suspicious funding mechanisms. I’d put $20 bucks down on Section 108 of this Bill, which is titled, “Federal Acton Transparency” being a total con of some kind. But don’t take my word for it. I’ve edited and posted some of my favorite parts of this whopper and inserted them here:

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On and on about these polar bear parts. I’d say that SOMEONE has some bizarre “trophy” they are desperate to drag back to the States.

And then there’s this section which sounds like The Hunger Games. It makes me think about how the Department of the Interior seems hellbent on culling the wild horses and mustangs on Federal lands…

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And then, there’s all THIS carrying on about film crews. I guess that the NRA needs to make some new fundraising infomercials…

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And this one about “water resource development projects” which, apparently are so dangerous that the Secretary of the Army must be kept from getting in the way of people who need to be armed to the teeth while visiting:

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And, there is definitely something underhanded here:


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So, if you are shaking your head and wondering what on EARTH this Bill is about, join the club.  One thing is clear: polar bears need to be put out of their misery, and they make great trophies.

When Senator Fischer wants to give the fossil fuel industry carte blanche to have their way with Alaskan territory which is vital to Native Tribes in THAT region, apparently it seems okay. I daresay that there may be a few of those same under-appreciated sportsmen who will be inconvenienced as well.  However, Little Deb fails to see the inconsistency in her logic. Native Tribes rely on Alaskan lands and waterways for sustenance, engaging in the very same, all-important, sportsmen activities of hunting and fishing (minus the camera crews).

Ripping away legal protection against oil extraction and exploration will, of course, place the future environmental health of that region into the gaping maw of the fossil fuel industry and would SEEM at odds with good Deb’s desire for expanded areas and privileges for those poor, besieged sportsmen to roam free and shoot and stab and fish to their heart’s content.

In fact, Senator Fischer seems like she gets pulled in so many different directions based on the whims of those who clearly hold sway over her “deep rooted beliefs.” Maybe she should be nicknamed, “Senator Gumby.”

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For example, on her website, Deb Fischer prattles on about how much she just HATES red tape. Indeed, she has a whole page devoted to her cutting of such despised red tape. Here is her love letter to her hate of red tape:

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I am starting to think that perhaps “Senator-Can’t-Make-Up-Her-Mind Fischer” also needs a Merriam Webster Dictionary from her evil corporate overlords to explain the meaning of red tape:

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Because she only just proposed Amendment No. 18 to the Senate’s Keystone XL pipeline Bill in the Senate which, among other things, would have led to more of the aforementioned red tape:

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Here are a few snippets of her Amendment, which didn’t get passed, by the way:

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And so, in the Crazy Margarita that is Deb Fischer’s blender of priorities and values:

1) She wants to rip away protections opposing oil and gas drilling in the Arctic so that lands and waterways being used for unnecessary activities like hunting and fishing, not to mention just existing (in the case of animals) cease to be inhabitable and freely used by those who rely on them;

2) Except when she’s protecting and buttressing and even increasing support for more hunting and fishing anywhere ELSE but ANWR. This hunting and fishing is, apparently, so newsworthy that it needs extra provisions and accommodations for camera crews so that, one must assume, those poor hunters and fishermen get to properly commemorate their killing of the polar bears, whose body parts are specifically allowed to be brought home as macabre trophies;

3) She hates red tape. Really hates it, except;

4) When red tape might come in handy to help the Keystone XL pipeline get built.

She’s also a vengeful bitch (just ask her neighbors) who loves Hobby Lobby, and is worried about your eyesight. So worried, in fact, that she helped pass a law that requires abortion providers to show pregnant women “up close and personal” ultrasound images of their fetuses one hour before they undergo an abortion. How thoughtful of her! Although maybe she could have simply improved coverage for optometric care and killed two birds with one stone. Oh wait. That probably would have just meant more red tape.